Dear Tour de France Femmes: We need to have a chat

My voice is still hoarse from screaming at the screen. My dad, who’s never watched a pro women’s race before, was glued to the race—as we watched Demi Vollering try and steal the yellow back from Kasia Niewiadoma.

Ultimately, it was the Polish pro who crossed the line with quite literally seconds to spare. The Canyon / SRAM rider would win with the closest margin in Tour de France history, just four seconds between her and Demi Vollering.

The final stage up Alpe d’Huez? What?

But why does it have to be like this? Whose crazy idea was it to make Alpe d’Huez the last stage and make for one of the most exciting days of racing in recent history? What’s wrong with a nice, boring parade stage where we know the yellow jersey is sewn up? All they have to do is finish the day in Paris and not crash. I mean, the men’s race was different this year since they finished in Nice in a time trial, but that was unavoidable due to the Olympics.

See when they have a final stage in Paris, it means I can do stuff when they are riding around the Champs. You know, like laundry or chores.  Can’t we just have some predictable, routine finishes for once? (The 2023 edition was equally frustrating, with every single stage thrilling and featuring nail-biting finishes.)

You think I could step away from the computer for even a second on Sunday? Not at all.

A battle for the ages

Vollering, Niewiadoma, and wildcard Pauliena Rooijakkers put on a fierce battle. Niewiadoma, who lost ground to Vollering on the earlier Col du Glandon, fought desperately to retain just four seconds of her 1:15 lead over the Dutch rider, securing the biggest victory of her career. Vollering took the stage, but the Pole claimed the overall Tour.

I mean, didn’t ASO learn way back in 1989 that having a final stage of the Tour was simply too exciting for us fans? When Greg LeMond stole the yellow jersey (skinsuit) back from Laurent Fignon, winning the race with the shortest margin in history—8 seconds.

Oh, right, the second shortest margin now.

At first, when they hit the Alpe, I honestly thought Vollering had it. She was doing that thing that the best pros do—climbing a mountain with their mouth closed, ascending seemingly effortlessly.

It seemed it would only be a matter of time before she launched off Rooijakkers and took time out of the Pole.

As Niewiadoma hit the Alpe, she started losing time… but then, climbing like an absolute champ, hands on the drops à la Pantani, she clawed…