How Gwyneth Paltrow’s ‘Goop’ is making cycling look absurd

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop gift guide is legendary, if not always for great reasons. The annual holiday list has shocked and entertained readers with its absurd luxury for over a decade. This year’s list is being labeled everything from “outlandish and over-the-top” to “sick.” What does this have to do with cycling?

Well, there are three bikes on Goop‘s radar in ’22. And, for a list that is known for jaw-dropping prices, all three bikes are … reasonably priced? At least, they are reasonably priced compared to other bikes currently on the market. All three would fall between mid-range and high-end, but their price tags certainly hang well below the top tier of what is available.

Which leads to a question. What does it mean for our sport when bike prices make Goop look reasonable?

Before we get ahead of ourselves, lets look at Goop‘s gifts versus what is available out there for bikes.

Linus Roadster 7i. Photo: Goop

Schindelhauer Ludwig. Photo: Schindelhauer

Goop versus cycling industry

Cycling makes three appearances in Goop‘s 2022 gift guide. Let’s look at each, and see how what the cycling industry considers acceptable pricing compares to what the wellness industry considers luxury.

Between the men’s Hermes Birkin Rock bag (“As punk rock as Hermès gets” – $36,600) and Bolin Webb’s R1 Prestige 24-Karat gold razor set (downright affordable compared to Campy’s $2,800 bottle opener at $425.00) is a Linus Roadster 7i. Described as “the perfect city bike,” the Roadster will set you back $998. That isn’t out of line with what big brands like Trek and Specialized are offering in the single-speed commuter category. But if you want luxury, Rivendell will sell you its Rosco Platypus for $1,350. And that is just for a small-batch production frame. Slightly less high-end, Soma’s Buena Vista is $900 but, again, for just the frame. For complete bikes, and standard production runs, Gazelle’s Tour Populaire T8 ($1,400), Schindelhauer Ludwig 14 ($3,520) and Creme Caferacer Man Doppio 7 ($1,273) all soar past the four-figure mark that Goop‘s “perfect” Linus flirts with.

Linus. Photo: Goop

Specialized HotWalk carbon. Photo: Specialized

Moving on to the youth category, Goop squeezes a Linus Lil’ Dutchie 16″ kids bike ($369) between a Le Bonnet Petit Beanie (“Petit in size, Grande in style” $98) and, Aliito Dino Brilliance necklace ($490). All are child’s play compared to Specialized’s Hotwalk Carbon run bike…