Cycling News

The absolute worst person on Earth, the ShiftShamer

The absolute worst person on Earth, the ShiftShamer

Cycling apps and tech have come a long way. You can pretty much analyze every aspect of your data you want, and then some. Sure, you can check your watts, your heart rate, distance and time–but there’s plenty more, as most people know. If you’re worried that your left and right leg aren’t matched up in power output, you can check out your pedal fluidity. Even more fun, on many apps, you can check out how many times you shifted. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Getting into the right gear is key to being as efficient as possible on the bike. It’s not only about you comfort, but maximizing every bit of power you put into those pedals. Too big of a gear, and you may bog down, too little, you’ll spin out. But there are those who may be a bit of a nosey parker and scold you for too many shifts. How is that even a thing? Shift as many times as you want, it’s not like you’re paying per tooth.

Seinfeld, Episode 25, “The cassette player”

George and Jerry are sitting on the couch. George flips through the channels, as Jerry takes out his Garmn. Jerry scrolls through it.

George
(sniffs)
You, ah, go for a ride this morning?

Jerry
Yes I did. And a pretty good one, I might say.

Jerry shows him his Garmin.

 

George
Wow. That’s some pretty good watts. And that average speed. That’s, ah, pretty quick.

Jerry
What about you?

George
What about what about me?

Jerry
Your ride.

The door opens. It’s Kramer.

Kramer
(nods to George, then Jerry)
Fausto, Eddy. Come stai?

Jerry
Good. George and I are just comparing rides.

Kramer
Oh man. Let’s have a look.

Jerry shows his garmin.

Kramer
Whoa mana. That’s some good numbers. Some gooooood numbers.

Jerry
C’mon George, let’s see

George
I don’t wanna.

Kramer
(to Jerry)
Come on now Jerry. If George doesn’t want to show his “training” ride, he doesn’t have to. We are a judgement-free zone.

Kramer
George, you can show us your ride when you’re ready.

A beat.

George whips out his Garmin. They both look at it.

Jerry
Well that’s a fine ride. Why are you so worried? I mean, it’s not as fast as mine, but a decent ride.

George scrolls through, then abruptly puts it away.

Jerry
Hold on a minute. Did you shift…1600 times in one hour?

George
Maybe.

Jerry
1600 times? How is that even humanly possible? That’s like a shift every—

George
(frustrated)
I couldn’t find the right gear, okay?

Jerry
1600 times though? I didn’t even shift half that and I rode 3 times as long!

Kramer

Click Here to Read the Full Original Article at Canadian Cycling Magazine…