So I mentioned my predicament in the Nats thread and, not to bore you, but I am in a hospital doing inpatient rehab in anticipation of being set free on the eve of the Grand Départ. I have been watching Unchained on Netflix all week. Life could be worse!
That said, the biggest limiting factor is neurofatigue (I prefer tired legs), and everyone —doctors, family, work colleagues, SBNation team — have insisted that I prioritize rest over such pursuits as generating content around the 2024 Tour de France. So I regret to say that I cannot preview the Tour this year OK fine, but I’m going to have to keep it brief. Therefore I give you… The Stroke Victim’s One Sentence Guide to the Teams of the 2024 Tour de France!
[Warning: my ability to distinguish reality from Unchained is tenuous at best. So if these previews read as the plot of Season 3, I apologize.]
Alpecin Deceuninck: Van der Poel is like Jasper’s on-bike sports-dad, showing him the way, giving him a hand up, weathering his outbursts. Making it all OK.
Arkéa-B&B Hotels: I like the strategy of bringing a classics lineup to the Tour, why sit back and just accept that this is a stage race?
Astana Qazaqstan: A “run it back with an ever aging Mark Cavendish” roster? Wow haha man, my brain really is struggling with the concept of time. Can you imagine if that were this year?
Bahrain Victorious: A lot of teams with few good options would kill to have someone as reliable as Matej Mohorič.
BORA Hansgrohe: They built a team specifically to stop Visma-LAB, and it could work. That’s the good news…
Cofidis: 50% of life is just showing up, right?
Decathlon AG2R: I know it’s hard to stick with a plan that didn’t work last time, but Ben O’Connor (4th in Giro) seems like he could have helped here.
EF Education – EasyPost: Richard Carapaz was one birth of a child away from a pre-Tour interrupting trifecta (illness after a crash). The stage hunters — Bettiol, Powless — will probably mitigate the damage though.
Groupama FDJ: Probably too soon for the Lennaissance, but just in case, lay off the post-race beers.
INEOS Grenadiers: I would venture a guess that Bernard Hinault’s favorite rider at the Tour is Tom Pidcock.
Intermarché – Wanty: A fiver on Hugo Page for a stage win. Any takers?
Israel PremierTech: Derek Gee is easily the most relevant cyclist IPT has ever brought to the Tour. Low bar, unless you were into the Froome nostalgia laps.
Lidl – Trek: Doubt Giulio Ciccone’s…
Click Here to Read the Full Original Article at Podium Cafe – All Posts…