Why you should never date a cyclist

Most individuals who ride bikes are great people but here are the reasons you should never date a cyclist.

1. We will always be tired after a ride

Hope you didn’t want to go for a long romantic walk.

2. Our homes are filled with bikes

N+1 is the golden rule where N is the number of bikes I currently own. Maybe if this works we will get a tandem together.

3. We are in the habit of riding for longer than we tell you

“Back by noon,” I shout when I close the door behind me in the morning. What I really mean is back by 3 pm if everything goes smoothly and we don’t take the scenic route home.

4. The tan lines and shaved legs

The tans lines are etched in our skin so don’t complain when we wear shorts, swimwear, skirts etc. and if your significant other is male he probably borrowed your razor to shave his legs. Hope you don’t mind.

RELATED: Date advice if your Valentine is a cyclist

5. Night dates aren’t a thing.

Unless your idea of a hot date consists of an early night, healthy food and no alcohol. Hey, we gotta be up early for the ride on Sunday. On weekday mornings you may not even see us as we make a racket trying to sneak out the door at the crack of dawn.

6. Every so often you will get an emergency call asking you to drive out to pick us up

Your girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse got a mechanical, ran out of spare tubes, got lost, was involved in a minor crash, etc. You’ll hear every excuse in the book. It doesn’t mean you’ll ever enjoy stopping what you’re doing, getting in the car and finding your significant other in the middle of nowhere to drive them and their bike home.

7. Saddle sores are a thing and they might be somewhat unappealing.

This might be an understatement but it’s what happens after long hours in the saddle.

8. Don’t like the taste of sweat? Too bad.

You’re going to taste our sweat. You will know exactly what it tastes like. Another gross part about loving a cyclist.

9. We will drag you out for a ride even if you hate it.

Somehow we convince you, you hate it. We stay hopeful that one day you will join us for a weekend group ride and let me buy that bike I have been eyeing for you.

10. If you want company in the morning, your best bet is a teddy bear or dog. Count us out.

We are out riding before anyone wakes up. The up side is that you might wake up with breakfast and coffee ready.

11. Bikes always come with us on vacation

You will want to book your vacation somewhere where there are no roads, no single…