Winter in Canada is long and not particularly great for cycling. While most of us suffer through long winter miles on the trainer, or just give up on wheels and enjoy the snow, a select few are lucky enough to head to far flung, often tropical locations chasing warmer weather. Those that head to Spain, France or Italy instead of the southern U.S. have a way of bringing parts of the culture back with them. But there’s a specific type of person that then can’t help but rub it in our frost-bitten and trainer numb faces on the next group ride.
This is the Euro training camp bro. As if constantly dropping reminders that they can afford to scoot off to Spain for weeks mid-winter wasn’t enough, the Euro training camp bro has to rub it in with generalized continental affectations and absurd “rules” they picked up while enjoying the sun. Enough. We get it. You went “to Europe.” But buddy, at this point, you’ve spent more time talking about it than you actually spent riding over there. Leave it be and let us enjoy the ride!
Episode 29: The Water Closet
George, Jerry and Elaine sit in the diner, full spandex. The waitress drops off coffees. Jerry has a single shot of espresso, Elaine a black coffee and George has a giant cappuccino.
JERRY
So, you’re really just going to do that?
GEORGE
…. What? Do what?
JERRY
That’s a cappuccino.
GEORGE
Yeah, I like the foam. So what?
JERRY
It’s after noon, that’s what.
GEORGE
And what does that mean? I can’t have my afternoon coffee? You’ve got expresso right there, too.
JERRY
First, it’s esssspresso. Second, Come. On. Everybody knows you can’t have milk in your coffee after noon. First you drag me in here to drink this swill, this dirt water, this common filth. Now you insult me by adding milk? This is too much.
GEORGE
Who exactly is this everybody?
JERRY
Everybody! Everybody knows this!
GEORGE
You know, ever since you got back from Europe, you’ve been acting different. A little… holier than thou. You think you’re better than me because I don’t use Vaseline in my shorts?
JERRY
Chamois cream, it’s…
ELAINE, interrupting
Wait, you were in Europe? When?
JERRY
Yeah, Kramer and I were in Europe. I’m doing that fondo this summer, so I needed a training camp.
ELAINE
Yeah, yeah, the Fondo, we know. You’ve told us. But where were you? You can’t go to Europe.
JERRY
What do you mean I can’t go to Europe? I’m not allowed?
GEORGE
Well, I for one, am starting to wish you…
Click Here to Read the Full Original Article at Canadian Cycling Magazine…